Not sure where to go for Yom Kippur services? at CampusJ

Here’s a semi-serious look at the pros and cons of various places of worship for this Yom Kippur.
Beth Shalom
Advantages

Seeing hundreds of Jews at once in the same place in the Midwest may be a once in a life time experience.
Oversized yarmulkes are sure to make a fashion statement.
Transliteration allows you to read Hebrew flawlessly with an exaggerated Ashkenazi accent.

Disadvantages

Arby’s Pork and Cheese Sandwhiches are no longer allowed on the bima.
You will have no say in whether you are kissed or hugged immediately upon entrance.
Taunting other members of the shul with morsels of food is frowned upon.

Hillel
Advantages

Frat house easily converts into holy sanctuary of prayer.
A great place for those who like combining their love of alcohol with their love of Judaism.
Services at St. Paul Catholic Center allow you to finally not receive surprised looks when answering the question, “And which church do you go to?”

Disadvantages

While getting Hebrew hammered is a great way to start off a new year, waking up in your Superman undies will not help you end up in the book of life.
You will occassionally have to redirect misguided guests to the lingerie party at the frat next door.
While this is a matter of personal taste, I prefer traditional fare like Matzoh Ball soup to break the fast, rather than say, Buffalouies.

Chabad
Advantages

Surprisingly, you will actually party much harder before and after Yom Kippur if you hang out with Rabbi Chincholker.

A great excuse to put on that Hasidic hat you have lying around your room!

You’ll learn each rule of Yom Kippur as you accidentally break it.

Disadvantages

Chairs have been removed from the services.

New things that you learn about the Torah will push out other knowledge necessary to succeed on midterms.

Not a good place to take a date! You may feel as if there’s something seperating you two, namely a thin white sheet.

So there you have it. Where are you planning to go?

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